3. Session
“Professor, we organized our lives according to their interests and activities so much that it became a habit for us. We live according to their lives. For this reason, sometimes we forget our spouse, sometimes our other children. I see that me and others are more angry than our special children.”
Session Content and Flow
- A. Participants were asked to give feedback on what we spoke about last week. How was your week? Did you encounter a problem that you couldn’t handle during the week?
- B. We talked about our feelings last week. And you stated that the emotion you experience the most is “anger.” What are the things that anger you the most? Did you have a moment that made you particularly angry this week?
After describing the moments that angered them, they tried to answer the following question: “What is anger?” What are the emotions underlying anger? Do events really make us angry or what we make of those events make us angry? To answer these questions, mothers were asked to name the emotion they felt.
- C. You described the moments that made you angry. What emotions did you feel when you were going through these events that made you angry? What is the meaning of this event that makes you angry in your inner world?
- D. What are the events that make your children angry? What are the problematic behaviours that cause their reactions at the moment of anger?
Assignment: Our exercise this week is to dedicate min. 30 minutes max. 2 hours to ourselves. We may do this sometimes. But the goal here is to do it mindfully. After this pause, I would like you to note down your feelings, thoughts, what you face and who you talk to in your mind.
4. Session
Session Content and Flow
- A. Participants were asked to give feedback on what we spoke about last week. How was your week? What did you experience when your took time for yourself? What emotions and thoughts did you experience more?
Families were told that everyone is devoting time to themselves and making it mindfully will be the first step of change for them, and that they must avoid resisting to this change. The newly joined group members were asked to do this again.
- B. They were informed about the question of “How to practice cognitive restructuring?”, which is the first stage of the question of “How can I control my anger?“.
They were informed about our system of thought, which causes feelings to emerge. How our emotions are shaped according to the attributed meaning in the triangle of event-attributing meaning-emotion, was conveyed. “What is constructive and destructive anger? How can I have more positive thoughts instead of “worthlessness, incompetence, inhibition and high expectations” that underly the anger? Questions such as “How can I develop a sense of self-compassion?” were tried to be answered.
- C. The exercise regarding the question of “How can we turn negative and disturbing thinking into positive?” was conducted with the participants. Before the exercise, the story of how the oyster became uncomfortable with the grain of sand found in the oyster shell and turned it into a pearl grain was told. They were then told to draw a circle on the paper next to them and that this was their life. They were asked to put a black dot in the middle of the paper symbolizing the grain of sand that disturbs them in their lives. Just as the oyster turned the sand into a pearl, they were asked to change this black spot.
Participants were told about the damage caused to their bodies when they were unable to manage negative emotions. Participants expressed problems such as heart palpitations, sweating, contractions, numbness in the mouth, rapid breathing when faced with negative emotions.
Breathing exercise was performed to eliminate the physical reactions felt.
Correct breathing exercise: Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your chest. And breathe. When inhaling, pay particular attention to inhaling in to your stomach, not to your chest. When you inhale in to your chest, you can’t relax completely because your whole body can’t get enough oxygen. For this reason, try to keep your awareness in the abdominal area. It will be useful to practice this technique regularly this week to do right the relaxation technique, which we will practice next week.