11. Session
“We’ve heard words that hurt so much that we’d rather stay silent than talk. But after all, we’re the ones who get upset. As you described, I began to change the language I use in communication. It’s like I’m slowly seeing the difference. I recommend it to my friends.”
- A. I asked you this week to write down your features that you see as weakness that you want to change in yourself. So what are they then?
- B. You’ve told me about the parts of you that you consider yourself weak. We all go through situations where we feel weak, that we can’t cope with. Some of us get over these situations easily, and some of us sometimes think that nothing will ever be the same. Therefore, you listened to the characteristics that each other is weakest and wants to change. Does anyone would like to make suggestions about this, experience or feel the same situation and tell you how you cope with it?
- C. They were reminded that our last session will be next week. They were asked to write about their thoughts about the project, what they learned during the course of this project, the feelings they experienced and the change they saw in themselves.
12. Session
No matter what you say, what you say is not more than what others understand.” (Mevlana)
- A. This will be our last session with you. For twelve weeks, we worked together on the same day and hour, and we conducted our sessions here. I’d like to know your thoughts on the project. What are the differences you have experienced, learned and seen in yourself during the sessions?
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- Positive feedback was received from participants. They expressed that thanks to this project which is particularly aimed at them, they have acquired the knowledge of getting to know themselves, realizing their wishes and desires, realizing their mistakes, and discovering how to correct them.
- B. From the beginning to the end of the session, I reminded you that “We have the right to change one person, and that is ourselves, and the beginning of this is to change our system of thought and behavior.” Now I’d like to show you why this happened with an exercise.
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- You know, we didn’t get out much during the pandemic. For this reason, I want to draw a landscape picture together. First, let’s draw a sun that warms us during this period of cold weather. Let’s draw a mountain view. So let’s draw a mountain. Let’s draw a house with a view of the mountain. And next to it, a tree… And finally, a family living in this place.
- C. After that, everyone showed the picture they had drawn. At the end of the application, it was said that everyone drew different pictures, although the instructions were given from one person to everyone in the same way.
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- Some of us drew smoke in the chimney while drawing a house, and some of you even drew snow on the mountain. Some of you drew tall trees, some of you short trees while some of you drew fruits on the tree. Some of you drew the family side by side, some of you drew it separately. Likewise, we sometimes make additions to and subtractions from what we hear when we communicate. We attribute meaning to events and change the meaning of the events. Sometimes it has to do with our past experiences and sometimes with our personal perception. When we receive information, we pass it through some filters in our minds and interpret it as such. As Mevlana said, ” No matter what you say, what you say is not more than what others understand.”We can’t know anyone’s past life, what they think, how they perceive it. Therefore, telling ourselves without understanding the inner world of the person in front of us, waiting them to change, puts us in a process that wears us out. Knowing this, if we want to be the strong side in communication, we must remember that we can only change our own system of behavior and thought.